Hey guys,
deriving a bit from tradition here and sharing something personal. Been going through a bit of an identity crisis the past few weeks. I'm a fully qualified and award winning journalist, however, I've found it very tough to get a job within the media.
After yet another set back, I've decided to completely step away from it. There's only so much heartbreak a person can take and it's not good for morale. I've got a job that I'm very happy in, not exactly where I thought I'd be but I like it. It's very secure with plenty of opportunities to grow and work my way up. They even have a internal newsletter I can get involved with.
So this is all very practical and mature, scary, but we have to grow up some time, right?
The identity crisis part comes from, where is my creative outlet? Journalism was somewhat creative, it's only now that I'm out of it completely that I understand how restrictive it actually was (is). There was always someone to please, editors, readers, advertisers, whoever paid the bills. Not quite the free press I envisioned.
Anyway- if I'm no longer a journalist. Who am I? I was very driven, did some stuff I wasn't exactly happy with in the name of getting the scoop. Now I'm working somewhere, where everyone knows my name, is very friendly and there's a real sense of security. All is good in my work life, I've a plan, I know what I need to do to get forward. But where is my passion? My creativity? Might seem silly, but being creative; art, fashion, writing and music, is very important to me. But as a journalist, certain things took a step back and I lost touch with that side of myself.
(Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being driven but it overtook my core values and made me question my actions.)
I was very good at art in school, my ipod was my pride and joy, reading and blogging was incredibly important to me. But that all took a step back in my pursuit of my fancy professional career which I thought would impress people.
I want to get back into art. When I get paid again, my first purchases are going to be a sketch book, pencils and pastels (love them). I'm having a look into pictures and things that inspire me and I'm also finding time to doodle. Nothing special but it's still art (sort of). I just want to find something to get my creative juices flowing.
I've been listening to more music too lately, on the bus to work, when I'm just chilling on my days off and even sometimes before I go to sleep, bit tough when Scott's trying to go to sleep but I think he understands. He doesn't complain anyway.
I suppose you could call this a 'quarter-life crisis' and I guess that's perfectly true. When I was 13/14 I thought I'd be married by now with kids, a successful career, a house. Pah! Wasn't I stupid?! Not even sure I like kids! But that's life. Gotta take it as it comes and not put too much stock into where I'm 'supposed' to be and just accept where I am and who I am.
Comparing my life to others around me isn't going to get me anywhere. Stripping back, will get me back to what I want to be.
And quite simply, all I want to be is happy.
I'll keep yous posted on how I'm getting on. Maybe even share a picture or two...
Annie xx
deriving a bit from tradition here and sharing something personal. Been going through a bit of an identity crisis the past few weeks. I'm a fully qualified and award winning journalist, however, I've found it very tough to get a job within the media.
After yet another set back, I've decided to completely step away from it. There's only so much heartbreak a person can take and it's not good for morale. I've got a job that I'm very happy in, not exactly where I thought I'd be but I like it. It's very secure with plenty of opportunities to grow and work my way up. They even have a internal newsletter I can get involved with.
So this is all very practical and mature, scary, but we have to grow up some time, right?
The identity crisis part comes from, where is my creative outlet? Journalism was somewhat creative, it's only now that I'm out of it completely that I understand how restrictive it actually was (is). There was always someone to please, editors, readers, advertisers, whoever paid the bills. Not quite the free press I envisioned.
Anyway- if I'm no longer a journalist. Who am I? I was very driven, did some stuff I wasn't exactly happy with in the name of getting the scoop. Now I'm working somewhere, where everyone knows my name, is very friendly and there's a real sense of security. All is good in my work life, I've a plan, I know what I need to do to get forward. But where is my passion? My creativity? Might seem silly, but being creative; art, fashion, writing and music, is very important to me. But as a journalist, certain things took a step back and I lost touch with that side of myself.
(Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being driven but it overtook my core values and made me question my actions.)
I was very good at art in school, my ipod was my pride and joy, reading and blogging was incredibly important to me. But that all took a step back in my pursuit of my fancy professional career which I thought would impress people.
I want to get back into art. When I get paid again, my first purchases are going to be a sketch book, pencils and pastels (love them). I'm having a look into pictures and things that inspire me and I'm also finding time to doodle. Nothing special but it's still art (sort of). I just want to find something to get my creative juices flowing.
I've been listening to more music too lately, on the bus to work, when I'm just chilling on my days off and even sometimes before I go to sleep, bit tough when Scott's trying to go to sleep but I think he understands. He doesn't complain anyway.
I suppose you could call this a 'quarter-life crisis' and I guess that's perfectly true. When I was 13/14 I thought I'd be married by now with kids, a successful career, a house. Pah! Wasn't I stupid?! Not even sure I like kids! But that's life. Gotta take it as it comes and not put too much stock into where I'm 'supposed' to be and just accept where I am and who I am.
Comparing my life to others around me isn't going to get me anywhere. Stripping back, will get me back to what I want to be.
And quite simply, all I want to be is happy.
I'll keep yous posted on how I'm getting on. Maybe even share a picture or two...
Annie xx
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